CAPSUNIAN ECHO

 BACK TO BARRACKS: THE RAWNESS OF RETURN

by Erica Mae G. Cala

        What do face-to-face classes feel like?

          This is the question that formed in my mind one morning when I opened my eyes, yawned, and thrown my blanket on the side. The fresh caress of wind coming from the opened window in my room, coated my being. Bare faced and with my hair messed up, I lazily got up, stirred my coffee, and sat on my study area.

          I was about to answer my modules when suddenly, "Erica, you'll be late for school! Get up now!" I discerned as my mother shouted from the kitchen. "Oh! That's why I was smelling the aroma of hotdogs and eggs this morning," I thought.

          I glitched for a while like a damaged CD as to why my mother called me that early, but I snappily shook my head as if taming myself. Similar to a flashback in a movie, the announcement of our campus administrator replayed in my mind. How could I ever forget about the day I'd been imagining to happen again? For the last two years, I was nagging about not having face-to-face classes and distressing on having self-study sessions. Today, it's finally happening. I immediately shook my head to finish the flashback. Now, I’m back to barracks! For real!

         As I wander around the campus, nostalgia hit my individuality. The flat green field, the humongous buildings, and uniformed students made me feel the spirit of school again. "I missed this," I silently whispered to myself. I suddenly felt the urge to ask my fellow students about their point of view on returning to school. I want to savor some rawness today. I eventually approached a girl, 5’3 in height, wearing a black bag and carrying a tumbler in her one hand.

        After I've thrown my questions upon her, she responded, "I feel happy and excited, to be exact." I smiled at her giddy answer. That was pretty obvious! I silently exclaimed. Nevertheless, I thanked her and proceeded to the girl she's laughing with. The girl with a curly hair and a brown complexion retaliated, in which her answer shocked me. She said: "No, I wasn't actually happy. Just thinking about the hassle I have to face again every single day, it’s kind of exhausting from here. You know, in modular learning, I've got all my time under control." For the second time, I just smiled and expressed my gratitude before leaving.

        As I gone further in the corridor, my gaze met with a pale man whose eyebrows are bushy. I was about to open my mouth to ask him, but he was quick to turn away. Maybe, he knows I was going to interview him! Grateful, I wasn't able to utter anything, if not, it would’ve been embarrassing.

        As I went closer to our department, my smile slowly faded. Looking around, I recognized no one. I felt like I was in an unfamiliar zone. With a sweat of a bullet, fast heartbeat, and lightheadedness, as if I was having a social anxiety, I faced every student in the corridor with my body in a slouching manner. I only got my breath back, when I stepped into our classroom. At least there, I knew three of my classmates. The rest were strangers to me. It was like my first time. New circumstances were about to unfold, which I have to deal with. Schooling is no easy task, but it’s always an amazing experience – a journey that embarks one’s growth and individual evolution.

        "Good morning, class! Please settle yourselves."

        Hearing this for the first time after two years, I immediately sat on the available seat in front. As the class started, I seemed going back to square one. I took out my notebook to copy something from the board, yet it seemed like my pen run out of ink and I can't write a single letter! As if unknown to me, I just continued listening there, grasping the discussion, and navigating a familiar feeling from way before.

        A little later, I found myself raising my arm to answer my teacher's question. I smiled when I was complimented, "Very good!" After that, my teacher conducted an evaluation through a 30-item quiz. Just when I thought I forgot how to do school anymore, I aced it with no doubts! I quietly celebrated myself. I, again, felt the eagerness to be something, to do something, and dare to be something more.

        As I got back to my seat, I realized, definitely, this is what face-to-face classes feel like!